I still love my ex

March 29 2024

I still love my ex, Penelope. But not like that! I love them so deeply as a person, a friend, and a colleague. That’s right… We work together, we hang out at work, we hang out outside of work, and it WORKS! How lucky! But really, we worked hard together and apart to get to this point, and it wasn’t always like that, but the love was always there.

In early April 2022, I caught COVID for the first time. [Love…] ❤ I was living by myself in a teeny tiny studio apartment at the time, and I became soooooo bored during the mandatory five day isolation at the time. So what did I do? I downloaded Hinge of course and started doom scrolling through all the fish in the sea! [Side note: I’m not a fan of dating apps now, not because of Penelope lol, but because I find it super exhausting and painfully boring to have micro, surface-level conversations and repeat the same facts about myself over and over again. Power to you if they work for you though, Penelope is an example that they do in fact work.] Nonetheless, Penelope and I observed each other shortly thereafter and the rest was history. 

Our first interaction was because one of my prompts was “I go crazy for: ___”, and my answer was breakfast. They’re response was: “My instagram is dejjeuner if ever”. For real, the rest was history. The thing about Penelope and I is we share a love for many of the same things, so we were always destined to be great friends. But SPOILER ALERT!!! We just weren’t meant to work out romantically. We were meant to be, but just not like that.

As soon as I finished my isolation, I put on my best outfit and skipped down to Henrietta to meet the legend for the first time in the flesh. Thus began our six-month whirlwind romance. When it was all said and done, we were employed at the same place, tangled into each other’s lives, and yet as we pulled apart we both knew we would have to try and remain as civil as possible to save face at work. The beginning was tough as you would expect, but finally I gained the privilege to work from home after my training was done, and we were able to have some physical, mental, and emotional space from each other. 

Fast forward to December 2022 after some months apart and no contact, I got very nostalgic for my dear Pen. Not in a “I-miss-you-and-we-need-to-get-back-together” way, but instead in a “I-appreciate-you-so-deeply-and-I-must-let-you-know-right-this-minute” kind of way. So I reached out to them, apologized for my end of the chaos, and we patched things up. But never with the intent of getting back together, just with the intent of having a new kind of relationship: a friendship. Obviously, we didn’t get to start as friends due to the nature of the way that we met, so it was fun and exciting for us both. The key to loving my ex successfully is knowing that we are platonic friends now, and knowing it will stay that way. The house fell down in a storm so we rebuilt the foundation together and changed the design to accommodate our needs. 

Since then, I’ve rediscovered all the reasons why I love Penelope. Today I spent the morning with them as we went to pick up their motorcycle from storage after the winter. We went on a mini road trip together.<3 We went early in the morning because they had a date after, and of course I would wake up early to make sure they had enough time to get ready after. Plus it meant we got to eat breakfast together. I love Penelope because they’re a safe driver. I love them because they will let me play my music in the car and listen to me sing for hours. I can be my most foolish, outrageous, and unfiltered version of myself with them. They will always match my energy. They’re the biggest fan of my cooking. They remember the small things about me and my life, which makes me feel so important. When I’m tired, they let me sleep on them on the bus and subway. They know and love my parents, sister, and dog. They’re a great listener. They remember all of our inside jokes. But most of all, I love them because they are such a thoughtful person. One of the first times we had a sleepover, as I entered the bathroom to brush my teeth, they had already put the line of toothpaste on it, and had it ready for me as I put my headband on to wash my face. They continued to do that for me up until the very end.

I learned to evolve my love for Penelope, and they continue to show me why I did that every day. From strangers, to lovers, to nothing, to best friends, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love you forever Pen. ❤ 

Sounds like:

Cool by Gwen Stefani
Skin and Bones by 070 Shake

Just Another Day by Lady Gaga

Pale Blue Eyes by The Velvet Underground